Motherhood,  Uncategorized

Why you don’t need to compare yourself to other moms.

I am a mess. 

A complete and total mess.

Motherhood is hard, and although I’d love to be one of the perfect Pinterest moms, I’m not.

You know the moms. The ones with the nice, clean house, the well behaved kids, the best parenting skills, and the perfect life. And how does this mom still look so good all while making parenting look so easy?

Meanwhile, I’m over here with my mom bun, coffee in hand, the same shirt I’ve been wearing for- (how long has it been..?) and my half naked kids running around through the tornado of toys in my living room.

What. A. Mess.

So yeah, I’d love to be one of the Pinterest moms.

But again, I’m not.

I compare myself to them, though. And I make myself feel horrible for not being one of them. Comparison is all around you once you enter motherhood. Paranoia has you thinking everyone has it figured out but you. This is the most important job in the entire world, and you feel like a failure while pinterest mom over there deserves a metal. And so you kick yourself. And make yourself feel awful for not being like them.

But let me let you in on a little secret..

Those moms aren’t even real.

 

 

Think about it. You go online and what do you see?

 

HIGHLIGHTS! 

 

You see the highlights of everyone else’s lives. You’re seeing what others want you to see. A small portion of their lives, and trust me its the good stuff. Because few people want to share the raw, transparent side. Few people want to share the messy parts of motherhood.

So they share the good. The highlights.

 

But I can guarantee that behind them is a mom who faces her own set of struggles. Motherhood is hard, and no matter how perfect somebody seems, I can guarantee their “hot mess” side has come out. And there is NOTHING wrong with that!

But again, you don’t see it like that. You see highlights. You still sit back and compare. Thinking of yourself as a lesser mom. 

So what do you do?

Flip the script. And think about it this way.

 

YOU HAVE THE HIGHLIGHTS, TOO.

 

Think of your highlights! The days where you felt like you were killing it. You felt proud. You tackled motherhood today. You kicked ass! You go, mama!

Those are the days you’re proud of, right? 

So remember them. 

Get perfect polly the pinterest moms highlights out of your mind and REMEMBER YOUR OWN HIGHLIGHTS! 

When you’re struggling and comparison creeps into your mind, remember that we’re all the same. 

Your own mother, that “perfect” mom on instagram that you follow, the mom juggling 3 tantrum throwing kids at the park, Joanna Gaines, the random mom in the diaper aisle at the store..  They are all the same. They all have their own sets of struggles in motherhood. Every single one of them. And along with those, they have their own sets of highlights. You just don’t see all of it with them.

So when the comparison creeps in from what you do see, push it out and focus on your own journey. Your own strengths and highlights.

 

And I know it’s easier said than done. I try to keep it transparent, but I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t have it all together. Not even close. I’ll also be the first to tell you I used to compare myself to other moms daily.

But why?

I mean I know in the back of my mind that I’m a good mom. I may not feel like it every single day, especially thinking of the “better” moms. But when it comes down to it, I can think of so many good days that I’m proud of. 

And on top of that, I look down at the little faces that I’ve created and right then and there I see my motherhood success in them .They are happy. They are loved. They are cared for. And we’re their world.

They don’t look at the other moms and think “wow, she’s the perfect mom. My mom is not nearly as great as her.”

No.

YOU are the perfect mom to them.

 

So the next time you start to compare yourself to someone else, take a step back and think through some things.

 

 

– Remember that we’re all the same. Even the mom you’re comparing yourself to has struggles. She is not without flaws. Nobody is.

– Focus on YOUR highlights. You have them. Remember them. Feel good about them. 

– Give yourself grace.

– Remind yourself that it’s okay to have bad days. They do not define you. Own them. Grow from them. 

– When all else fails, and you still feel like you are failing, look at your babies. They are a reflection of your parenting. Are they loved? Happy? Cared for? Then you’re doing something right. 

Remember that they love you unconditionally. And they don’t compare. So why should you?

 

Leave me a comment below listing 3 reasons you think you’re a great mom!

And then tell remind yourself of them every morning.

 

Hey, guys! I'm Bri, a boy mama of 2 littles, raising them with their daddy, my highschool sweetheart here in East TN! I can't wait to share all things life, motherhood, and more with each of you! Thanks for stopping by my little space! So excited to connect!

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