The first few weeks of parenting for me were a blur. I’ve heard that from many women. The transition into parenthood was a wild one, and although I’m sure its different for everyone, the one thing that remains a constant for us all is that we need all the support we can get.
Especially from our spouse.
But sometimes for them, it can be a little difficult knowing just how to help or what exactly you need in those moments. Communication is key, but with the chaos of learning the ropes of parenting, communication isn’t always a smooth road.
So I’ve teamed up with a few of my mama friends and discussed what they needed the most from their spouse after baby was born!
If you’re a new mom or dad, I hope this will encourage you to talk with your spouse about what you personally need from them to help yourself. (Dads, your post is coming later, too. I know moms aren’t the only ones with needs!)
But today, we’re talking about the mamas. And what they need most from their spouse in those early weeks of motherhood. So lets discuss those needs!
Navigating those first few weeks as a new mom can be so difficult. The hormones are insane and you’re still trying to learn the ropes of parenthood. Mom may feel like she’s going crazy, so let her know that she’s doing a great job! Give her validation because it’s easy for us moms to get in our head and feel like we’re failing
On top of letting her know emotionally she’s doing a good job, don’t forget to remind her that she’s beautiful!
Her confidence may have taken a fall, lately and she needs you to help boost it back up. So compliment her. Remind her that she’s beautiful. Remind her how amazing her body is. Tell her the mom bun is a good look for her (lol.) But seriously, show her some love.
Support in general is such a big part of what moms need. Let her know you’re there to listen and to help. Let her know she’s doing great. Support and encourage her in whatever ways she needs.
Help with late night feedings.
Late night feedings are exhausting! And out of all the “needs” I heard from the moms I spoke to, this was by far the biggest.
Sleep deprivation can make you feel like an actual zombie during the first few weeks. Take some of that load off of your partner by giving her a bit of help!
Bottle Feeding Parents: Help mom out by taking over one of the late-night feedings and giving her a bit more time to rest! I promise you, mom will appreciate this gesture. And you might consider it a great opportunity to bond with baby!
On top of moms just needing rest in general, don’t forget that sleep deprivation can cause so many issues. In so many ways. Theres a chance it may cause a strain in your relationship for mom feeling like she’s the only one putting forth the effort of getting up. You’re a team! So use some teamwork.
Breastfeeding Parents: If mom is breastfeeding and dad can’t physically take on one of the feedings, maybe stay up with her to keep her company for feedings every now and then! Or help out by going to get her a glass of water or something (hello breastfeeding dry mouth!)
Think about it: Not only can late-night feedings be exhausting, but they can also be incredibly lonely! Especially when breastfeeding mamas have to be the only ones getting up. So let her know that she’s not alone. You’re in this together!
For dad to be in sync & physically help out
Be in sync with babies needs in order to help fulfill moms needs.
As mothers, our minds are constantly in turbo mode, and if you can give us one less thing to worry or stress about, you’re helping out!
So know when the doctors appointments are and help have baby ready, or know when its feeding time and get the bottles ready. Don’t wait to be told these things. Know these things.
Help with Postpartum Depression NON-
Postpartum depression is horrible. Although it varies by states, studies show that it can be as high as 1 in 5 moms suffering from it.
Dads, look for the signs. We need you to help. Do your research ahead of time.
And if it hits, go about it the right way. Realize that PPD is a mental issue.
Support your partner and let her know that it is not her fault she is feeling this way. Remind her that she is still a great mom through all of it. Encourage her to discuss how she is feeling with you. Be there for her. And when she is explaining her emotions and needs to you, listen with no judgement.
And then help her accordingly.
(I’ll be making an in-depth post about PPD and what you can do to help. Be on the lookout In the weeks to come)
A hot meal and a warm shower, perhaps?!
So take care of baby for a bit while she hops in the shower!
Maybe clean the house or cook her a hot meal so it’s one less thing she has to worry about on top of being able to relax for a minute!
Time for our relationship
When a new baby comes into the picture, your relationship may take a back seat. But you have to remember to make time to focus on each other, as well as baby. It’s so easy to lose that in early parenthood, and your relationship will suffer for it if you aren’t careful!
So make time to keep the romance alive. Show your spouse some love and appreciation.
Yes, your child is the most important thing in your life, but you are more then just parents. Don’t forget who you were beforehand. Don’t forget your partner.
This list could’ve went on. There are many more “needs” new moms feel in those early moments.
And the best way to help with those needs is through communicating to find out what they are.
Talk to mom about what you can do to help her, or what she truly needs from you. And then tell her what you need, too.
Communication is key and a pivotal part in keeping your sanity. Be there for each other, support each other in any ways you may need, and grow into the amazing parents you are going to be, together. By each others side.
What did YOU need from your partner that wasn’t mentioned on this list? Leave us a comment & let us know below!